This End Bites

January 10, 2009


Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 10:16 pm

We have spent a long time walking. There is no purpose that I can see. I have seen several felines but they are not worthy. The conceited arrogance they show only identifies their selfish inner feelings. They care only for themselves.

MHM has gone from shadow to shadow as though waiting in ambush. There are no prey stupid enough to fall into his trap. I can hear human voices in his ear, excited and distorted mutterings show sign of a hunt elsewhere in the territory. MHM’s mood changes, he wants to join in with the hunt. We move of swiftly back to the van and head off swiftly. Again I anticipate an exciting hunt but I hope I will not be disappointed, again.

We move and stop. We move again. We do this several time but then we move and it is different. The van moves fast, the time draws near for the hunt to begin.

In the distance I can see those bright lights of the other vehicles belonging to the other hunters on foot, those that MHM calls response. He is out and speaking and returns to the van. His arousal state is already high, tonight we could be lucky.

MHM gets me out and begins to put on the harness that tells me we will be tracking tonight. Immediately I can smell the quarry, the male human is close, very close and I try to pull MHM towards the hiding place, he is just yards away. Over the other noises I can hear him breathing, I can hear his heart beating, he knows that capture is only a few moments away. I can smell his fear, his wanting to flee but his panic and fear freeze him to the spot.

The last buckle is fastened and I follow the smell of fear to the source. I growl a warning before I shout at the quarry. He offers no threat and appears to have marked his territory. Other hunters from the pack turn and seem surprised at what they have missed. There are other smells, there is more than one to hunt, there are 2, 3 or more. But the one, this one, is taken away by the pack and it is back to MHM and me to continue to hunt the rest.

I follow the signs they have left on the ground. Soon we leave the bright lights behind and the smell is carried to me on the air from the hill at the road side. I hear muffled whisperings. There are more prey, they are in a high state of arousal, they are in fear of being caught. I begin to pull harder and then I hear the crashing of my prey as it moves through trees.

MHM shouts. He always does this. It gives my prey a chance to escape and it tells them I am coming. This gives them an advantage.

Then, suddenly, I am loose. Free to move without the hindrance of MHM. I can move much more swiftly, it is easy to follow the noises as the prey try to escape. They have no hope, they are too clumsy, too noisy and too smelly. I can smell their excitement in the air. I am close.

I break through the woods into open country and can see the shapes, they are running, I am closing in. Just as I get to them they stop and put their arms into the air in surrender. I shout at them, try to escape, make a threat, go on, make my day, or night as the case may be.

All lie down on the ground in total surrender. I keep on watching and warning. In the distance I hear MHM, running towards me. Perhaps we will do this together.

MHM runs around and joins me. He begins to shout at our quarry. He sounds like he means business, this is a warning to them. They have conceded, surrendered.  I can hear the sounds of more humans in the woods approaching. They turn out to be more of MHM’spack. They take away the quarry. Their front legs are tied up and now they start to shout in defiance, shout threats and warnings. You humans do not crush this defiance and lack of respect. I cannot work this one out.

Also you humans smell.  But you cannot smell like me.


December 23, 2008

Seasonal message.

Filed under: Uncategorized — whichendbites @ 2:46 pm



Seasonal greetings and best wishes for the new year. May 2009 be kind to you.

October 16, 2008

Humans are different.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 5:03 pm

This thing MHM calls the radio is noisy this evening. We are on the way somewhere, fast, yet again. The van swings this way and that, it is an effort to stand up. We stop. MHM gets out to speak. The voices are excited.

There is nothing for me here, again. We leave in a hurry. 

Soon we are on foot, walkabout. Now we are both hunting. Both listening. MHM is deaf, compared to me. We walk, we lurk in the shadows. We wait and then move on. Then we are back into the van and off towards something else.

After a while, after more throwing about in the back of the van, we stop. Quickly, silently. MHM tells me to be quiet yet he is the noisy one. We are out. The doors are silently closed and then we are running. We stop. MHM speaks quietly into this radio. None of the shouting or excited blabberings I can normally hear from the small piece in his ear. He doesn’t want me to hear but I can still make out the sound of voices from his ear. Are these the voices in his head?

We are off again, running through lanes until we reach the brighter area where the humans live in their dens. We stop. I can hear noises and begin to pull towards the noises. MHM follows. There are humans nearby. I can hear then. They are doing something. As we get nearer I can hear them breathing heavily as through they are labouring. I can smell their sweat carried on the breeze towards me.

We will strike but again we stop. Other noises of the pack are approaching. How can they hunt effectively with all this noise.

MHM  unclips the lead and grabs hold of my collar. I know we are close, my senses tell me. I can hear the voices, there are two they are male. One of them has marked the lane were in a short time before. This must be his territory.

MHM runs out from the shadows of the local fauna. An ambush from the trees is always a good method to catch your prey. He shouts, which is never a good way to catch your prey, before letting me go. There are two. One is holding something large, which he drops to the ground and it bounces and begins to roll away. I allow it to escape, I have other things on my mind.

I shout at the two, they seem frightened and confused. They don’t know what to do and back off slowly with their arms in the air. I continue to shout and drive them backwards against a wall. Now MHM is shouting as well. They fall to their knees, still with their arms held up. They have submitted. Two against two, the odds are even. I sense their apprehension. They look at me and look at each other. They are looking for reassurance from each other, they know not what to do. 

Others in the pack of MHM arrive, noisily. They pull away the two and restrain them. The two now want to struggle and threaten, even when the odds are against them. Why did they not try this when the odds were even but leave it until they outnumbered?

I am unable to respond to their threats. They seem to know I cannot get to them.

If they were dogs, I would show them I would not tolerate this sort of threat against me. But they are not.

Humans are a little different.

August 8, 2008

Late night shopping

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 8:18 pm

MHM talks into his radio. The sound of the human voice inside makes it seem urgent. MHM speaks quickly, the van accelerates away. After a few moments MHM turns off the lights and I hear the reassuring click that tells me the hatch is open. I will be going out of the window, soon, I must try not to smash the side of his head again, he was not pleased last time.

The van turns a corner, MHM cuts the engine and opens the window. I see dark shapes, human shapes, run from the front of the shop. I don’t need MHM to shout but he does anyway. I am out, like lightning, I am quicker than the dark shapes.

I can hear footsteps running behind me, those of MHM who cannot keep up. The dark shapes are humans. They cannot outrun me. They look and see me. They stop in a doorway. I hear MHM shout from behind me.

One of the three tries to get past me, waves his hand at my face. He will not try that again.

The three remain, MHM approaches, they shout and threaten him. The one with the sore hand now has a sore leg. He will not do that again.

I keep the three in the doorway. MHM shouts at them.

Friends of MHM arrive and take the three away. We go to the shop. It is how you humans say, closed. They should have waited till the morning, they have special offers.

Two bites for the price of one………….sorted.

May 28, 2008

A Different Perspective.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 10:28 pm

This thing that MHM drives about is swerving sharply, slowing severely, moving off quickly, cornering with a real purpose. The blaring sounds of the wailing thing is accompanied by the flashing blue things that hurt my eyes. I am being thrown about from side to side. It is enough to give one a bad head. How do you humans think with all this noise.

The sounds of humans shouting on this thing that MHM calls the radio, or the big air, is deafening. People are in a high state of excitement. It appears that some of the others who wear the similar cloth to MHM  are hunting. They are chasing and MHM is also in on the hunt. He is hoping for his own hunt. I am hoping for my part in this. I just know there is a chance when this sort of stuff happens. I begin to bark to tell MHM that I am ready. Just let me out.

Still it goes on. Stop, start, turn around and head off somewhere else. Stop again. The noise, the lights, this must be one hell of a chase.

Suddenly we are off again, this time fast. This time is different. MHM is shouting into this radio thing. His excitement level is high. This could be it. 

We stop with a sudden and screeching halt. MHM is out, I can hear him shouting at one of the other hunters. He must be asking them to let me have a go. I can do this better than any of the humans.

So many questions. Why does he waste time with all these questions ? Perhaps they are important ?

MHM runs back to the van and I hear the chink of the buckles. We are going hunting. We are going tracking. I can’t wait.

I am out, on the ground and I begin to sniff the floor. MHM struggles with me but gets the harness on. Just let me go, I can do this.

We are on tarmac, there are white lines. There are smells on the ground. There have been more than one human this way. 

I follow the smells of the humans. One is different. It is the smell of the chase. The smell of fear at being caught. The smell of unwashed clothing and body odour. I can distinguish this from the other humans scent. I follow from the tarmac onto to concrete pavement and through an opening into the grass at the front of a human den. The smell comes back onto the concrete ground and continues away from where I started. Now there is only one smell. The smell of my prey.

I continue to follow this smell along the front of a line of human dens. The wind is from my side and the scent of the prey is carried through the gaps into the front cover ares that front the dens. I can tell that my prey is not in these areas. I check one, then two, then three, four and five have barriers. Six and seven have no barriers but there scent is not in areas of cover. Eight and the scent goes through the opening and into an area of concealment. This is not a good place to hide.

I can smell my prey. The breeze spins of the front wall of the den and he is in there, trying to be invisible in the undergrowth. I can hear him breathing. I can hear his heart beating. He is mine.

Before I bark, I growl to let my prey know that I am there. I begin to bark because that is what MHM has told me I must do. MHM begins to shout at our prey telling to stay on the floor. Suddenly there is a flurry of noise. Humans are moving about inside the den where we are. Humans are running nearby, they are approaching. The noises of their radios tell me they are friendly. I tell them to stay away as I have not yet finished. There may be a threat. There may be an attempt to escape. As our prey crawls out from his futile attempt at concealment MHM shines his bright lightstick into his face. I don’t know why he does this. I want to see him, to see him looking at me. To see his eyes. His eyes will tell me his story, will tell me lots of things. Now he will see nothing. I can smell it but cannot see it in his eyes.

Some of the other hunters arrive, I tell them to keep away, this one is mine. We have hunted and MHM has given our prize to the other hunters. Without me they would not have found him.

I go into the bushes, into the hide and there are other things. They smell of our prey. I lie down and await the appearance of MHM within the bushes. He seems pleased, but not as pleased as just now. He talks to one of his friends and we return to where we began the hunt.

MHM begins to scratch things in the front, talking to himself as he does so. The radio thing is very noisy. I listen to the voice and it is clear that we are off for another hunt. Perhaps I will get a better chance next time. Suddenly the lights and noises begin and we head off.

I hope I will get a better chance next time. 

May 24, 2008

Understanding humans.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 12:35 pm

My den is in the garden of the place occupied by MHM. This is my place. Only MHM goes there, only MHM is allowed in there. He is the Alpha in this territory.

I am not like the companion canines, who have no rules, who do as they please and control their human masters. They are in charge. They are liberty takers. They need to be taught a lesson but their human masters do not do this. We expect humans to treat us like canines but you expect us to behave like humans, where the rules and boundaries constantly change.

We operate in strict ways, for the benefit and survival of the pack. Everyone is important and everyone has their role to play. It is easy and everyone understands.

You humans have it wrong. You allow disobedience and disrespectful behaviour to go unpunished. You do not teach your children to hunt and how to behave in a way to benefit the survival of the pack. The survival of the pack is not important to you, not as important as it should be. The strength of the pack is what makes survival easier for everyone.

We have been out in the dark, MHM and me. We are hunters, that is how it should be.

Within the pack we have the hunters, the stalkers, the trackers. Together we make things work and we are successful. Together we are strong. Our leaders lead, with purpose, towards our survival.

Today we have hunted but we have not had the usual type of hunt. Today was a hunt for those who are weak and easy prey. Today we just found. MHM was still pleased, and told me this. We have found the weak, we have found those who have been lost and are at risk. They are special. I have no idea what this means but MHM is pleased and we have done well.

These people are different, they are afraid, I can sense their fear.  They offer no threat to me. They are vulnerable and easy prey but MHM offers them protection.  He does not even know them. They should have their own pack to protect them and look after them. Old humans should have respect, they have been responsible for the success of the pack when they were young and strong and have been leaders in the past. They have earned this.

I am still struggling to understand humans. You make everything so complicated.

May 12, 2008

Give the dog a bone.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 7:46 pm

MHM has some strange habits, strange for a human that is. He likes the dark when those who become the hunted go out.

We have spent hours on foot, stalking the narrow lanes, around the schools where the small humans get some of this thing you call education. We have followed some but they do no wrong. We are back out in the mobile den. The thing that makes the noise that MHM listens to made another noise and we are moving a lot faster. Turning one way, then another until we begin to slow, MHM is looking to the rows of dens where humans live, talking to himself again. Something is going to happen.

Suddenly and silently we stop. MHM tells me to be silent. I am. We are out of the mobile den, he has me by the collar. He is moving low, as silently as a human can be, apart from the noise coming from his ear.  Then we are through a hedge and follow the wall of one of the lines of dens, around to the back. This could be an ambush. The way into the den is blocked by the thing called a door but the bottom lies on several sharp pieces on the ground nearby, like daggers. MHM is excited, I can smell it on him.

He slowly pulls what turns out to be the broken backdoor to this den open, very, very slowly. It is dark inside but I can hear a distant shuffling. Something is inside.

MHM shouts and gives away our position. He wants to hunt but is not very good. This is no real ambush, we have lost the element of surprise. The shuffling turns into a stampede that echoes above our heads. He shouts again and lets me go. I run towards the stampede.

The stampede moves from above us to in front as I run through the narrow passage with walls on both sides. As I reach the base of the way upwards I am met by the stampede, two humans with their faces covered and wearing covers on their hands. I do not understand this. Itis not cold. They look like they did not expect me.

I tell them to stop and stay still or they will by mine for the taking. One of them drops a bag and things fall from under their clothing. I get close, they smell of fear, of dirt, of a staleness that shows they are dirty people with no standards. Their bodies, their clothes and their breath smells. Very, very badly. They stare at me. This is a threat, if they continue I will have to defend myself against this challenge.

MHM comes from behind me and shouts at the two smelly humans. They put their arms up in the air before they lie on the floor looking at the wall. They are no longer a challenge to my but I could still take them and show them my dominance, they will respect me, it would be easy but MHM does not tell me too. He is perhaps weaker than I thought.  He begins to talk to himself, again. The thing in his ear is making the noises back and he continues to talk to himself. He is mad.

Suddenly I hear sounds from outside the den. There could be more friends of the two smelly humans. Sadly no. It is friends of MHM. I shout at them in case they try anything funny but they seem more interested in the smelly humans. They are welcome to them. They have marked the territory within the den as theirs but I somehow sense it is not theirs. There are shiny things on the floor. There are lots of things in the bag the smelly humans dropped. Everyone seems pleased.

We have done well, apparently. MHM tells me this. Another human with a funny hat and carries shiny things on his clothing tells us we have done well. He respects MHM. He tells MHM to make sure I have a bone. 

I could have had as many as I could possibly have wanted.

May 3, 2008

So it begins.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 3:48 pm

We have been on the move for ages, so it seems. The small den in the back of the van MHM drives us around in has little sign of what awaits in the outside world. I hear lots of noises but I can see very little. Occasionally a face appears at the back, looking. I don’t know what these faces expect to see. I tell them to back off, they are invading my space. They always jump back. Don’t know what they expect to be in the back of a dog van, perhaps something else. It says Dogs on the back, or so I am led to believe, we have to announce our presence to the world to give them a chance. This is wrong but I don’t make the rules around here.

The noise on this radio thingy is sometimes deafening. The sound made by the human on the other end is different. The voice sounds of stress and excitement. MHM talks into his radio and he also displays a state of mild arousal. We might be going off hunting soon.

We drive somewhere very quickly and stop. The sounds of those wailer things is uncomfortable. I do not understand why they should be so loud, MHM is not deaf. Itis quiet again. We move again, quickly and with the wailer accompanying our moves. We move a bit and then stop, move a bit and then stop.

Now I can tell something is going to happen. The tone in the voice of MHM as he talks has changed. We move again. The other voices I hear have a high arousal state. The friends of MHM are hunting something, I hope they cannot catch whatever it is. We move again, this time without the wailing, quickly, there is an urgent tone in the voice of MHM. He is shouting at people. We stop suddenly, with a lurch and a jolt. I hear the voice of MHM, he is shouting at someone, this could be it.

The back door of the den opens quickly and I am led out by MHM. The people he was shouting at are dressed in the same type of clothing but with less mud and den hair. They are brightly coloured, they could not hide if they tried. They are as bright as the sun.

MHM takes me to a high fence. I could never climb this but MHM is clever. He is able to lift the bottom of the fence so I can get under. There is a smell that I recognise. The smell of someone who has been this way very, very recently, lets go.

MHM struggles to get under the fence. If only he took off all that stuff he wears he would be able to hunt far more effectively. I wish he would just let me go, I can do this. He joins me, eventually. I am put into the strap thing and attached to a long line. I have to hunt on the ground. MHM leads me along the fence but it is not this way, it is the other way. Off we go.

I am able to work out where someone has landed on the ground from a great height. This must be someone who can jump, the fence is much higher than MHM.  I can smell the scent so I follow, away from the road, up the grassy bank into some undergrowth. This is fresh, this is very recent, my prey will not be far away.

Through the undergrowth, then we hit an even higher fence. No going over or under this. I follow the track of my prey along the fence and then back towards the road into some more cover, small trees. Ideal for evasion but easy for me to get to. I get there, it is heavily overgrown around the trees. My prey is here, I cannot see but boy can I smell. He is here, I can smell his fear, he is mine now.

I shout at him to come out as MHM has told me. He does not move. I tell him to come out or I shall come in and get him.  I have heard MHM talk about an introduction to canine dentistry. I don’t know what this means.

I continue to shout and there suddenly is movement and I can see two legs, covered in brambles and I can hear a pathetic voice. The body attached to the voice stands up, I can see the fear in his eyes, I can smell the fear, his arousal state is at its highest. He is my bitch now.

MHM holds me by the collar and shouts at the man and I shout as well. The man puts his arms into the air to show his soft underbelly. He is vulnerable. All his vitals are on show for me, he has submitted. I am disappointed but MHM still shouts. We lead the man out, he keeps looking around to look at me. I could do him as easily as crushing grass. He knows this, I know this, it feels great.

We lead him back to the high fence and he crawls underneath to the friends of MHM who wear the sunshine clothes. They put something on his wrists to stop him waving his arms about and he begins to shout, he is threatening but I don’t understand this at all.

Why did he not threaten me ? Why does he threaten everyone else and even me when he is behind the fence with everyone else. This is strange.  His eyes give away his secret. He is full of shite and false bravado. He seems to know that he is safe. No harm will come to him yet he continues to challenge those around him. He is not any sort of alpha, he is a coward.

A crowd begin to gather, they look threatening, I will bark at them to keep them away. Anyone who gets to close will have some.

I enjoyed today.  It has begun.

May 1, 2008

I am ready.

Filed under: Development — whichendbites @ 8:57 pm

It is now official. I have passed. I am now a warrior. Together we are a team, MHM tells me this.

Together we will make things better. Together we will hunt, we will track down our prey, they will fear us, we will be formidable.

We have done the things we need to do to get what MHM calls the ticks in boxes. We have ticked all the right boxes. 

MHM has visited the places where lots of people he knows are located. He has told them about what I can do. He has told them about what we can do together. We are a team. We will do well. I am a hunter, but now I am a warrior.

We are a team but we are part of their team. I do not understand this, yet. MHM tells me that these others will let him know when we are needed, when I am needed to do what MHM calls ‘my stuff’.

I am ready.

April 9, 2008

Warrior School.

Filed under: Development — whichendbites @ 5:58 pm

Warrior School is a tough place.

I have learned fast, I have to if I want to be the best.

I have learned that MHM wants me to hunt for him. I must hunt to find his prey. I can bring the prey down but we do not kill it. I still find this to be unusual. Why hunt but not kill ? These are the skills I was blessed with. These are the skills handed down to me.

You humans have lost the skills to hunt. Things are too easy for you. You have become soft, complacent. This is a big word for a dog. You do not need the skills you once had because your lives have become soft, easy and comfortable. You do not need to catch your food. I do not have to catch my food, I could and I could do it well, but MHM brings my food. I respect him. Itis a shame that you humans do not have the same respect for each other that I have for MHM.

I have learned that I can hunt the prey by following their scent on the ground. I can also hunt them by their scent being blown on the air.

I have shown I can defend myself when other humans threaten me and can bring them down when they run off to escape. These are the easy parts of warrior training for me. I am a natural, apparently. I don’t know what this means.

I find the things that MHM calls the pretty stuff hardest. This is boring, no hunting at all. The others do this well but I want to hunt, I want to chase.

We have been to a place that MHM calls a school. Itis full of small and immature humans. They act like they are dominant but the adult humans at the school do not punish their disrespect. We canines learn through play, we learn what is right and wrong. Trust me, you do not want to be wrong. You humans do things dfferently, your rules constantly change. No wonder your small humans are confused. They do not know how to behave.  Within this place known as a school some of the larger of the small humans show obvious signs of disrespect and bully the smaller humans. They do this in groups because they are not confident. This was a test to see how I behaved. I did well, I did not bite any of these small humans. Some of them needed this, they have no behavioural boundaries, they need to know their place and show respect. Unless they are taught how will they learn. What sort of humans will they become.

We have been to places where there were lots of adult humans. They walk fast, with purpose, but do not look around, do not look at each other, not even at me. I don’t know who has this territory, there are no obvious alphas but these people just kept on coming. The Alphas must not be territorial. There are more humans that I have ever seen before. These were places where buses and trains come according to MHM. They were very loud and dirty. They belched dark smoke like monsters. These monsters did not scare me. MHM was pleased.

The next few weeks will be tough according to MHM. This is when I must learn to respond to him quickly. I sense that the games are over. Now we will be playing, for real. 

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