This End Bites

May 12, 2008

Give the dog a bone.

Filed under: Work & play — whichendbites @ 7:46 pm

MHM has some strange habits, strange for a human that is. He likes the dark when those who become the hunted go out.

We have spent hours on foot, stalking the narrow lanes, around the schools where the small humans get some of this thing you call education. We have followed some but they do no wrong. We are back out in the mobile den. The thing that makes the noise that MHM listens to made another noise and we are moving a lot faster. Turning one way, then another until we begin to slow, MHM is looking to the rows of dens where humans live, talking to himself again. Something is going to happen.

Suddenly and silently we stop. MHM tells me to be silent. I am. We are out of the mobile den, he has me by the collar. He is moving low, as silently as a human can be, apart from the noise coming from his ear.  Then we are through a hedge and follow the wall of one of the lines of dens, around to the back. This could be an ambush. The way into the den is blocked by the thing called a door but the bottom lies on several sharp pieces on the ground nearby, like daggers. MHM is excited, I can smell it on him.

He slowly pulls what turns out to be the broken backdoor to this den open, very, very slowly. It is dark inside but I can hear a distant shuffling. Something is inside.

MHM shouts and gives away our position. He wants to hunt but is not very good. This is no real ambush, we have lost the element of surprise. The shuffling turns into a stampede that echoes above our heads. He shouts again and lets me go. I run towards the stampede.

The stampede moves from above us to in front as I run through the narrow passage with walls on both sides. As I reach the base of the way upwards I am met by the stampede, two humans with their faces covered and wearing covers on their hands. I do not understand this. Itis not cold. They look like they did not expect me.

I tell them to stop and stay still or they will by mine for the taking. One of them drops a bag and things fall from under their clothing. I get close, they smell of fear, of dirt, of a staleness that shows they are dirty people with no standards. Their bodies, their clothes and their breath smells. Very, very badly. They stare at me. This is a threat, if they continue I will have to defend myself against this challenge.

MHM comes from behind me and shouts at the two smelly humans. They put their arms up in the air before they lie on the floor looking at the wall. They are no longer a challenge to my but I could still take them and show them my dominance, they will respect me, it would be easy but MHM does not tell me too. He is perhaps weaker than I thought.  He begins to talk to himself, again. The thing in his ear is making the noises back and he continues to talk to himself. He is mad.

Suddenly I hear sounds from outside the den. There could be more friends of the two smelly humans. Sadly no. It is friends of MHM. I shout at them in case they try anything funny but they seem more interested in the smelly humans. They are welcome to them. They have marked the territory within the den as theirs but I somehow sense it is not theirs. There are shiny things on the floor. There are lots of things in the bag the smelly humans dropped. Everyone seems pleased.

We have done well, apparently. MHM tells me this. Another human with a funny hat and carries shiny things on his clothing tells us we have done well. He respects MHM. He tells MHM to make sure I have a bone. 

I could have had as many as I could possibly have wanted.



  1. “I could have had as many as I could possibly have wanted.” Careful puppy, some meat isn’t fit to eat even if it is still moving…………. As you said, no standards!

    Comment by Bryn — May 14, 2008 @ 2:46 am

  2. the above spammers URL now added to my firewall blacklist, and no I did not bother visiting. Bloody spammers……

    Comment by Bryn — May 17, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

  3. great twist on your other blog. Does your land shark live with you and your family? i assume he does, are you ever worried the kids will pull his tail when he is having a bad day and loose a finger?

    Comment by reallifedilbert — May 22, 2008 @ 8:54 am

  4. Given the sudden absence of the original No2 comment, I assume that puppy agrees with my opinion of spammers…..! 😉

    Comment by Bryn — May 22, 2008 @ 1:17 pm

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